What did Cyrus name his new Betta fish you ask?

Answer: goldfish.

If you're a mom

Dear Infant-Child,

I found your cookie stash a few days after you forgot where you put your cookie stash.

Signed,

I Ate Your Cookies

Cyrus=artist

• Yes, this is Cyrus half naked.
• Yes, we are in a public place.
• Yes, that is my bum.
• Yes, I am aware those pockets aren't doing me any favors.
• No, I'm not a bad mom.
• Yes, Cyrus is crying because we made him put his 'punkin friend' down for the paint to dry.
• Yes, I miss the farmers market desperately.
• Yes, I'm aware I make fine, strapping male children.

Wednesday

• If I don't at one point in my life drive a white van with the word "chihuahua" written in scripty letters across the back window in a painfully shaped arch, I just won't be able to die happy.
• I realized I haven't combed my hair in two days.
• I just stayed up past my bedtime to do laundry and clean the bathroom
• My lunch consisted of stolen fries and a borrowed cookie(s).

Well, here's to Thursday.

Dear Blogging Universe

Dear Blogging Universe,

I pose the following questions to you all:

1. Why is that my infant-child thinks that all his clothing now "hurts" him? Socks? "Hurts!". Shoes? "Hurts!". "Fleece-lined jacket? "Hurts!".

2. Why do I think Modern Family is so good?

3. Do you think it makes me look poor if I use newspaper to wrap our gifts? (I like to think of it as "recycling")

4. Am I bad parent if the infant-child didn't wear shoes to church today?

5. Will I regret giving the infant-child a children's tool set that includes a drill he is now sleeping with?

Please let me know.

Best,
-EC

mystery

Dear lady who lives two doors down from us,

Why do you sit in your parked car, engine running, for hours at a time? In December? Every night? Do you just love your carport that much?

I seriously need to know. It is driving me crazy. And your carbon footprint is, like, bigger than the people cutting down trees and shipping them to China. So stop it.

Best regards,

The lady who drives by your house, suspiciously slow, checking the clock so I can see how long it is you really spend out there

Reasons I Don't Go To Sunday School

On my most recent visit to Sunday School, I was slipping (mostly unnoticed) into my seat in the back row, only about 10 minutes late when I quietly placed my bag (which may or may not have a big skull on it- thanks cousin Dani!) on the ground when I started hearing a strange "mew-mew"ing coming from said bag. Turns out somebody managed to activate Cyrus' recently acquired screaming cat keychain....twice.

"Mew! Mew! Mew"

"Mew! Mew! Mew!"

It only has blue flashing eyes, so it's not like half the room was stifling giggles or anything.

It's going to be a long mom-hood.

Dear People Of The World Who Believe Even The Most Mundane of Household Chores Deserves a Change Into Industrial Overalls,

I applaud you and your felt cowboy hats.

Best of luck,

Girl Who Still Wears The Shirt I Took From the Free Pile In College (Which Turns Out Belonged To Leah Bischoff)

Dear Vegetarian Blog Readers,

I realize that after that heading, no one is actually reading at this point. So, let me restart.

Dear Self,

You really out did yourself this time! You made one heck of a normally-filled-with-meat dish into a fairly decent substituted-garbanzo beans-for meat dish. No, really! Even your husband can stand it! Check out your notes below so you don't forget:

Garbanzo Bean Salad

garbanzo beans

celery

mayo

spicy brown mustard

garlic powder

dill

lemon juice

salt & pepper

Use the ol' food process on ingredients 1 & 2, and then throw in the rest. It's that easy! Geez, you are a vegetarian genius!

Sincerely yours,

Yourself

The Eve of All Hallows Eve

Listen, people just don't wake up with awesome Where The Wild Things Are hair....or do they?

hair today...

I made the sudden and overwhelming realization today that practically no one in this house combs their hair on any regular basis. Some of us seem to not have enough hair, while some of us seem to have too much, and some of us just throw raging fits when they see a comb/brush/pic.

Thank goodness we have our natural good looks to rely on.

Motorcycle Love

This self-indulgent pose (hahahahaha! like they are not all self-indulgent!!!!) is because my kid is cute and likes motorcycles and really, what else is there in life?

Put down the cheesecake

Ok, you know how sometimes, it's late at night and you are finishing off your last piece of cheesecake for the day (unless, of course, the mood strikes you again in the next 7 minutes before you lay your little head to rest) and you Google search your name and you find something weird?

Well, that just happened to me and I found this website:

http://www.elleuk.com/fashion/street-style/(section)/the-way-you-wear-it-reading-and-leeds-festival/(offset)/0/(img)/364359

That girl has my name!!! 

But then I found this link:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4188/is_20030717/ai_n11407463/

and remembered that years ago I got into a juried art show (may or may not have been the only) but for some reason, I was the only person on the list who doesn't have their media listed next to their artwork (btw, it should have read 'mixed').

And then I find this baby:

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/773399/?pg=2

and remember there was a day when I could run a 10k in 44 minutes.  

So I put down the cheesecake.

i need this bike

i really do.

6:12 AM

Dear Chantell at FedEx Ground,

If you ever call me again at 6:12 AM to get my physical address because you only have my PO Box listed, I will not be so pleasant when you call me again at 9:18 AM.

And you didn't even deliver my package today.....

Sincerely,

Don't Ever Call Me Again, No Really